Want

I want to fuck you outside, in the grass, under the late Spring sun.  I want to feel the earth beneath my back as you enter me, as I watch clouds scud across a sky whose blue isn’t quite your eyes (but almost).  I want to ride you while we listen to the buzzing of bees and breathe in lavender.  I want to feel the sun on my breasts while we move together.

Just us.

Surging like the seas we are.

Seasons

Sometimes I wonder if our love is seasonal. I’ve known your kindness in winter, your rejection in spring and summer, and your cruelty in autumn.

Maybe we cannot survive the warmth.

I don’t know if I can love you only three months of the year.

the world without You

I don’t often remember my dreams –

Except that I was falling,

Or I was running.

 

But You gave me nightmares

I remember.

 

They hadn’t seen you for days

When you should have been at work

And for some reason,

They picked me to go to your apartment

And I found you swinging

(I found you like I wanted to be all the time)

And I didn’t look up

Just saw your stiff hand

And whispered your name,

Sure it was a sick joke;

And then

I looked up,

And there was your beautiful

Untouchable face

But purple and bulging and gone

 

And in my dreams,

I learned

the world without You

and woke up

Funeral

I had a friend who had a nightmare where he went to his best friend’s funeral and found me in the casket and then he wasn’t my friend anymore.

 

I knew it was bad – to make him leave like that.

 

I never knew how bad until you left and I started having his nightmare where I would go to my best friend’s funeral and find you in the casket and then we weren’t anymore.